Onion which was the style at the time

By Philip Van der Vossen on January 9th, Once again proving that you can find anything on the internet, today I found a site specifically for housing everything related to Grampa Abe Simpson, including all of his quotes.

Below are a couple of our favorites :. Like the time I took the fairy to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them.

Now where were we, oh ya. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones. This is what happens when you're too Boomer for Readers Digest - you're relegated to spewing your dementia in the local paper instead. Lance Robdon. Grandpa Simpson is a literary farking genius compared to this "letter writer", and that whole website couldn't be more white and Southern if it wore a bow tie and owned slaves.

Bennie Crabtree. Peachtree City to Hampton wasn't "the countryside", even in the s. Obviously not talking about the Staten Island Ferry which was a nickel, and is now free. I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah. That was a pretty terrible article, but I found something worse on that site.

If you scroll down, you'll see that you can apparently get away with murder if you drunkenly run over somone you've been arguing with Dad gum murder. One downside of advancing technology is that 10 years ago this guy wouldn't have been able to figure out how to use the internet.

But I won an essay contest. The Googles Do Nothing. I thought that Garrison Keilor was dead. Some Junkie Cosmonaut. It's about giving a fark what happens when a car hits a deer at speed, and people end up getting wrecked and killed. Larger deer are heavy enough to do an incredible job on a car in a fast collision, thus the occupants as well.

I can't believe someone would take the time to respond to this "story" And then you got moose. Okay, let's get this thing sorted I couldn't find any mention of the deer crossing sign in the featured "article. Ah yes. If I close my eyes, I can almost smell the live oak. Or the chicken fat. I'm guessing the writer has liability only coverage and can't afford an animal collision, and the guy in the sports car has full coverage and got a shiny new sports car within a week of the accident.

Another Government Employee. Troy Aikman's Giant Thumbs. And you're so insecure you could do nothing but take a dump on the senile old man. Good for you! God's Waiting Room. Like the one in Beetlejuice but more canasta and elastic waist pants, less brimstone and hellfire. Just like this gif. It was much less developed in fact mostly farms between PTC and the Speedway and two lane country roads. Subby here. This is the "unofficial" news site for the Villages as opposed to the Daily Sun which is controlled by the developer that owns the Villages, so you get more colorful news.

It's always worth checking out to see the rundown of who got drunk and crashed their golf cart and who got into a fistfight over a parking spot at Publix. These retirees have nothing to do, but drink and get into foibles. Everyone thinks they are Mark Twain, until they actually write. And by "foibles" you mean "sexytime "? Yeah, I think Pocket kind of missed the mark on this one. Let me just go over to the ledger where I rate Pocket Ninja's fark comments.

Open the cover I reach for the quill, dip it in the red ink that stands always to hand and with a satisfying scccrrrrattchchch I draw a jagged red line through Pocket Ninja's total for the year. And then it's back to peeling grapes for my wife. That was like a drunk five year old trying to explain a dream they had. This thread is closed to new comments. Support Fark.

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Schedules for galleries and museums are being pushed back. Delivery of theater and opera stage sets is stalled. Program brochures and exhibition catalogs are stacked in containers. The horror crosscut. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.

Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Just like this gif The story doesn't go anywhere.